takde mood..

today am really not in the mood..
tho the weekn is great..
both sat n sun we'r berbuke outside..
sat..
my x-skoolmet buat small gath kat umah nolie sumwer in segambut..
the most happening time that nite, when mc ar's coming..
she's kinda a celeb rite now..
n she's slimmer n drop dead gorjes..
everybody like..
"woa.. mc ar..
comey nyer mung!"
imagine..
she's hella fat n big b4, she's even got diabetes ever
since she's 5 years ol..
but now, she's slimmer,thanx to green apple diet.. wer she jez eat the green apple without eating nasik at all for more than 3months.. huh!
kalo aku, jgn harap laa nak tinggal nasik, 3months lak tuh..

yesterday plak..
k.ayu buat majlis bukak puase kecik2 jek..
coz smlm haikal 4th befday..
everybody's was there..
i was so happy to see all of em..
even aiman having a great time.. coz all the cousins were there..
but sayang takde camera nak captured all the budak2 comey n nakal2 itu..
btw, good news..
k.anim nak jual digicam die kat aku..
wuhuu..
best..! best..!
digicam die memang best..
good thing bleh buat installment..
n aku bleh bayar sket2..
n konfem kat anim jual murah jek..
but the thing is, i'll buy it by my my own duit..
coz hubby also buy thing from kat anim.. her PDA..
hehe..
slalu jek dpt 2nd hand frm k.anim..
oklaa tuh..
nak beli baru cam mahal sgt..
beli ngan k.anim lagi better..
coz all the gadget from her are the highest quality..
ok wat, 2nd hand pun..better laa kan..

today..
sgt demoralized..
taktaulaa nape..
sgt in the mood nak balik kg..
tak sabar gile..
tapi balik 2 hari jek..
tak kesahlaa..
lagipun bukan papa kene drive..
dahlaa dapat naik kete best..
ee cannot wait laa..
cepatlaa friday..
cepatlaa...

need a boost..

ok, the truth is..
i'm bored..
bored like *&^%%$....
i need to do sumthing to boost my energy..
i'd luv to do sky diving..
i'd luv to snowboarding..
or snorkling..
or scuba diving..
arghh..! (*sambil menarik tudung yg telah senget benget..*)

i jez view this fotopages safiyah-maisarah..
she's a daughter of one of my short scandal b4 i dump him for my husband..
he's now married (shortly after i get married), have a daughter n staying at sheffield.. his wife studying there..
ape aku nak citer sbenarnye..?

sbenarnye aku nak citer yg aku dengki tgk mamat tuh, yg tak seberapa kacak pun (laki aku lagi jauh lagi kacak)tapi dapat tinggal kat oversea, anak dpt growing up kat oversea.. bestnyer..
aku dengki sebab bukan aku nak kat die, nyesal dump die ke..
hohoho.. jauh sekali tidak..
cume aku jeles gile kat die..
coz.. what a wonderful life they have..

seriously ok..
daughter die of coz laa kurang comey, lagi comey aku nyer aiman..
tapi look at those pics.. yg kurang comey pun jadi jauh lagi comey..
urm...

i think i wanna put 1 more thing on my wish list..
i wanna staying at the New Zealand n grow up a family there..
why New Zealand..?
becoz my brother n sis in law already staying there..
n i think i'm also wanna join 'em ..
who knows..?
we can have a more exciting wonderful life over there..

ummm.. (*berfikir sambil menggaru-garu kepala yg gatal..*)
i think it's pretty good idea..
maybe i shud propose my husband..
again..

gratitude?

while am on my ride wif my husband this morning..
i was thinking about..being grateful..
the first thing that i would like to thank God is..
a wonderful family that i have.. my husband n my son..

but now..

i feel like am going to burst into tears..

one nite..

i came across of my ol journal on my pc..
i read back.. n realize..
those time..
when i jez get married.. n jez have my baby...
there's lotsa love in the air..
i love my husband deeply..
i love aiman fondly..
tho at those time, we'r badly struggling wif our financial..
but, it's ok.. how bad it could be, we still have each other..

but today..

today..

the air of love dah macam tercicir a bit by a bit when day goes by..
i start to feel annoyed wif him.. almost everyday..
sumtimes i can be a real pain in his ass..
so does him..
probably he feel the same way bout me..

dulu2.. nak pegi memane.. mesti nak ajak aku follow skali..
tapi skarang, he prefer me not to follow him n stay home..
sumtimes i feel like terkilan..
why in the world he act like that?

before..

before i start to work..
he used to promise me, when i start to have a job..
he would help me with the houseworks..
but the promise.. was jez a promise..
aku bukan nak sgt pun die buat keje2 umah..
at least show sum concern ok..
he never help me out wif the houseworks..
but worse..
balik jek.. die jez baring depan tv tgk bola..
n me..
i will start tidy up my room.. (basically bersepah ngan baju die gak..)
then go to dapur, prepare for dinner..
after that settle with aiman ( aiman's always take a loo rite after i take him frm the babysitter house)
then, the kids will come down to my house, tution..
after 1 hour n half..
the kids gone, n i'm already flat out..
but he..
biasenye time tuh die dah ready2 nak kuar umah, jumpe kekawan plak..
n my work not finish yet, coz the laundry also bertimbun-timbun lagi..
that's the time when i feel really2 annoyed wif him..

n sumtimes..

while we'r at work..
we have lunch together, he treat me like i nobady to him..
like i jez sumone he know who jez has lunch with him..
then kalo berjalan, biaselaa..
he will walk a few steps ahead of me.. instead of jalan sesame..
ape lagi nak pegang2 tgn..

he has this kind of attitude..
bile kat luar or when there's sumbody else..
this kind of attitude like..
"oo, die bini aku, buat ape aku nak peluk2 die,
pegang2 tgn die depan org.. alaa, she can handle herself..
buatpe aku nak risau lebih2.."

tapi bile kat rumah,
he want me to treat him like anak raja..
basically i jez do it..
he's my husband, n i luv to spoil him..
but does he do the same thing towards me..?

he does sumtimes hug me from behind..
n kiss me.. he do that alot while we r home..
it's the only thing i luv about him..
when he wake up in the morning, he asks for a kiss first, n hugs..
then kiss my son.. hugs..
sweet..

that's the reason why i love him..
becoz sumtimes he can be so sweet..

i think..

love alone doesn't enuf in a relationship..
especially, a life time commitment..
we have to work on lotsa things..
like a flower..
to keep it grow n berbunge dgn cantik..
kene letak baja.. n siram hari2..
kalo tak siram..tak letak baje..
bunga tuh jadik layu..
tak cantik..
n lame2 mati..
that's the same thing happen in a relationship..

now..

i'm trying to do the best of me to keep the relationship grow..
sumtimes i feel i wanna took time off from him..
but i dun have time off, even for awhile..
but i do think, how to keep it grow..?
but..
i couldn't find a way..

i jez hope n pray to Allah..
this relationship..
this little family..
will stay grow ever n after..
coz i wanna wait for him..
in Pintu Syurga..

'papa..
i willingly to give my heart, my body n my soul.. to u..
never cross in my conscious mind to give u up..
u'r the best man i ever find to keep me warm at nite..
to make me smile when the day start to shine..
to burst a tear when the sunshine gone n the rain start to pouring down..
i pray n keep my hope..
u'r always be there when the rainbows come..
n whenever it's gone..
i love u..'

sleepy face

hari ini adalah sgt mengantuk..
seriously takde mood nak buat keje..
as always, hari2 dtg design label..
boooring..

the cantankerous feelng had gone..
now i feel good.. *sengih..sengih..*
coz tadi gi pasar ramadhan ngan ayip..
*papa..jgn marah.. =)*
die jadi tour guide..
slalu pegi sesorang, kalo ade org teman best gak..
lagi2 yg temankan tuh anak ikan yg gorjes lak..
heheh.. *gatal laa pulak minah ni..*
finally dpt jugak beli lasagna yg nampak cam best itu..
memang nampak cam best, aku rase memang best coz everytime aku turun pasar ramadan at 5:30, lasagna die dah tinggal a few pieces.. esok nak try die nye berry cheese cake plak..
aku tgk die nyer cake..
nyum..nyum.. nampak cam best gile..
tapi kan, die nyer price cam beli dekat secret recipe plak..
kalo sedap cam secret recipe oklaa..

well..
nak pegi smayang asar lak..

thanx ayip, temankan akak pegi pusing2 kat pasar ramadan..

wink.. wink..

gatal..