Monday, February 21, 2011

a place to call home..

am jealous. Jealous of my friends that manage to buy a place to call 'their own house' before hit thirty. I used to promise myself that by thirty, am already have a fine house and a big comfy car.. but.. umm.. it seems so far now. and guess what, am already 29..hahaha. i'm that old babe. oklah, I need to hit the ground and observe, where I am now? how bout next year? next 5 years? 10 years? man.. it's kinda of scary to know where I've been now. Instead of saving money, am end up having more debt. damn me. really can't control my inner child.gtg. asyraf is attacking..arghhh~~~

Saturday, February 19, 2011


Alhamdulillah.. segala puji bagi Allah, Tuhan semesta alam..
life's getting better and happier.
when u start to look at your life in different way, and have faith to Him, InsyaAllah everything will work out just fine..

well, actually i can't wait for the grad nite. hehe. a nite to have an excellent dinner and have a really good time. Besides, am also gonna receive a clean RM400 nett for my hard works and my students hard work for getting As in Maths and Pure Maths. mmm~ Can't wait. Btw, am thinking of buying a new dress for that nite, but.. why should i waste my money for just one stupid evening, better save for better things, like.. bayar balik ptptipu.. ok gak..

Anyway, am totally broke rite now. All my money use to pay babysitter, give to Ummi, give to hubby, bayar kutu, installment n broadband.. total up, RM1630.. luckily, this month, am got more tuition, so more money come in.. Alhamdulillah.. well, talking about money, it seems never enough.. always got plan to use money, all the desire of buying new handbags, new shoes, new laptop, new sofa and all the new things that seems endless.. haiz~ nafsu.. the uncontrollable NAFSU..
I'm trying to be careful for what I'm doing now days , so i don't wanna regret it later. I've been doing soul searching (beside searching for a better job.. and better job means better school lah). What I wannna do in my life and so on. I was getting confuse sometimes, but when I start to surrender all my faith, trust and my heart to Almighty God, slowly,everything seems clearer and surprisingly a calm mind, heart and soul.. I do wish sometimes that I could turn back time, and be as matured as I am today. So I don't have to live in regret and got a better life than I am today. But, what's the point anyway, what's gone is gone. If I'm not been through what I've been through before, I wouldn't be the same person as I am now.. I wouldn't be this strong, this calm, this matured and this bless.. rite?
I'm really sorry for my mistakes, sorry for my stupidity, so sorry if I hurt so many people who care about me before, I'm so sorry.. but deep down, I have changed.. better.. but still I know, it's ain't enough.. there's still pretty lot of room to improve myself... yeah.. InsyaAllah..