Penis Requests a Raise

i found this 1 frm judd's fren.. fucking funny..

Penis Requests a Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical hard labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get off days or public holidays
I am on 24hrs standby / 365days
I work in a damp environment with occasional foul smell
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I need to work in various environment conditions and temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases which carries a very high risk of death

Reply
Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay faithful in your allocated workplace, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave before you have completed the day's work.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags

Sincerely,
The Management

last nite hang out wif sugah's fellas.. seman,yang,john, sam n his bro.. having shisha.. get a lil bit dizzy.. huhuuu...
kantoi ngan sam.. 1st time hang out ngan die baik jek.. pakai tudung..
but last nite, wearing the shortest pant i have, smoke cigar n shisha.. wutta spoil.. huhu,bitch.. who cares..rite?!
luv sugah!! missing him lots..
can't wait to watch SHREK 2..
but my sugah keeping bz..
n tonite Black Eyed Peas will shaking up at Bukit Kiara.. i wish i could be there 2nite.. actually Wan will be bonzering at the concert..hope he will guarding at entrance.. hope soo... nanti bleh masuk free.. yeyeah..

[my name is]: violet
[in the morning i wuz]: sleepy
[all i need now is]: shaking my bon bon wif a hot guy
[love is]: urm.. unpredictable
[i'm afraid of]: God (Allah)
[i dream about]: me

** series one - you
-- First Name : zz
-- Birth time: 11:30am Feb 11 1982
-- Birthplace: HBKB
-- Last place travelled: sumwer in Pangkor Island
-- Eye Color: light brown
-- Nail Color: plain
-- Height: 5' 0"
-- Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

** series two - describe:
-- Your heritage: chinese dad and malay mom
-- The shoes you wore today: vincci
-- Your hair: long n wavy
-- Your weakness: hot stuff
-- Your perfect pizza: none..

** series three - what is:
-- Your most overused phrase: sial
-- Your thoughts first waking up: arghh...malasnyer nak gi kejer!!!
-- Your current worry: gpa & money
-- Your plans tomorrow: having a lunch at klcc..
-- Your best physical feature: boobs n butt
-- Your bedtime: oo:ooam

** series four - you prefer:
-- sunrise or sunset: sunset
-- gore or horror: horror
-- eastside or westside: eastside
-- stripes or polka dots: stripes
-- Planes or trains: planes
-- metal or hardcore: zapin
-- Boxers or briefs: boxers
-- Pools or hot tubs: pools

** series five - do you
-- Do you think you've been in love: yeah
-- Want to get married: yeah
-- Type w/ your fingers: of coz...stoopid
-- Like to take baths: hell yeah!
-- Get motion sickness: yeah
-- Like talking on the phone: lurve so much
-- Like thunderstorms: nope
-- Play an instrument: nope.
-- Workout: sumtimes
-- Like reading: yeah,sumtimes

** series six - favorite:
-- Body part:boobs
-- Kind of fruit: kiwi
-- Music to fall asleep to: inflatable by bush
-- Car: Honda E.K
-- Number: 7
-- Thing to do: dance,sing
-- Horror movie: gothika
-- Colors: blue + white
--Food: nasi ayam

**series eight - the future:
-- Age you hope to be married: minimum 23, max 28
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 5 is the maximum
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: urm.. ain't dreaming yet...
-- How do you want to die: peacefully besides my luv one..
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: being a gud wife..
-- What country would you most like to visit: japan

** series nine - opposite sex:
-- Best eye color: light brown
-- Best hair color: black
-- Best personality trait: hot,funny n kindhearted
-- Best height: tall,dark n lean..
-- Best weight: as long as he looks like he can protect me, that'll be ok
-- Best first date location: tatau laa..
-- Best first kiss location: in a spa.. huhu..

** series ten - finish:
-- I eat: dairy food..
-- I think: i need to go workout
-- I am: can be so nice n innocent but sumtimes can be a real bitch
-- I adore: puss in boot (shrek 2)
-- I suck at: keeping my own words
-- I am obsessed with: musics
-- I can: learn things quickly
-- I can't wait: to be wif sugah again..
-- I am annoyed with: sweet talkers n bitches
-- I miss: sugah!

Directions: Put X's next to the things you've NEVER done:
( ) been drunk
( ) smoked pot
( ) kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) kissed a member of the same sex
(x) crashed a friend's car
(x) been to Japan
( ) ridden in a taxi
( ) been in love
(x) had sex in public
( ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
(x) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
(x) had a threesome
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
( ) been tied up (sexually)
(x) been tattooed
(x) been caught masturbating
(x) had sex with a member of the same sex
(x) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) stole something from your job
(x) celebrated new years in Times Square
( ) gone on a blind date
( ) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
(x) been to Europe
( ) skipped school
(x) slept with a co-worker
(x) had sex at the office
(x) been married
(x) gotten divorced
(x) had children
(x) tried killing yourself
( ) cheated on a past girl/boyfriend
(x) had sex with your girl/boyfriend on the parents bed
( ) had sex within a month
( ) feel the love

get dizzy!

i'm getting dizzy of that cigar.. ohooo... penin...penin.. pa, help me..
hari ni buat pe ar? bagun pagi siut.. gi breakfast,then sambung tido, then.. gi OU.. play cards at Sn.Francisco Cff.. then fetch suga's sista at KLIA.. then ere i am.. still penin2 lalat.. tatau nak ilang kan pening ni camner.. huhuuuu...
i wanna write sumthin interesting like all those cool fellas out there.. tp cam everytime i'm online.. mesti sangap tade idea..
huhuuu..
i'm goin crazy.. mad.. @@$*&^(+_*)!@#$%^&*()_+|
paaa.... help me...