updating..

as usual.. am sooo malas up date my blog. today, got no choice. am bored like hell, mRR2 fucking jam, from melawati till ntah memane. n i dun wanna waste my time tekan minyak n main gear 2, gear 1. lenguh laa kaki aku yang cantik ini.

but..
ain't got any idea what am gonna crapping about.

huummm..
well..well..
lets talk bout weekn, walaupun weekn sudah berlalu selame 2 hari.. wtf laa kan..

last weekn i have a road trip to melaka n PD. Kudos to Mc shah kerana menumpangkan aku overnite kat rumah die. *shah, rumah mu adalah sgt best. aku rase cam tanak balik jer..*
n thanx kerana menumpangkan aku ride wif jiji n tag along wif kak nana.. tho on the way back aku yg drive. tapi memandangkan jiji adalah auto.. takde ar memenatkan sgt drive jiji.
at melaka, pijot's wedding.. my ol good fella kat KMPP.. after awhile ain't meet her. alih2 dah kawen dengan jejaka bertuah bernama En. Hussein.. n pijot, she's really drop dead gorjes that day. n me also look gorjes as usual. hahaha.. sounds keji.

n this weekn.. already planned to spend time at the pools.
means.. after spending some times at swimming pool, we'll heading to pool's table. umm.. sounds great lor.

can't wait for another weekn. yeah..

but tomolo baru wednesday lor..
haiya, still got 3 days to go meh..

one step forward.

babe..

last night. i have made up my mind. i wanna further study.
why?

i've decided to chase my dream. i wanna take one step forward by taking course in Graphic design.
Seriously, i'll work hard to get any scholar, or at least some education loans.

Babe..

wish me luck!

munajat

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i jez receive this images trough email this morning..
you know what..
i'm burst to tears when i saw the pics..
suddenly my heart touched by the images of thousands of ppl performed prayers n munajat @ stadium Sultan Ismail, KB.
it ain't that am being rudiculous or what..
i jez wish am part of those ppl who willing perform prayer kat tgh2 padang,tho at that time hujan yg tgh lebat suddenly berhenti tibe2, n make a way to those ppl sembahyang and bermunajat.
at look at the Tok Guru..
how many leader now who willing to cry on prayer
because of his deepest love to their country..

and the images also make me realize, when the last time u cry on ur prayer..
when the last time u cry mase tgh sembahyang?
when...?

and for me..
it's been a awhile, i haven't do that..
maybe years..

ya Allah..
betape jahil nyer aku..

ntahlaa..

really, tgk gambar2 ni sgt menginsafkan aku..
betape aku lupe diri..

Ya Tuhan..
berikanlah aku petunjuk..

and..

is this the kind of leader u prefer?

have a lil faith..

jez have a lil faith..

well..

i feel so grateful today.. grateful for every single thing i have..

Especially.. him..
he makes me laugh.. he makes me feel so good bout myself..
if only we're in different world, different place, and different timeline..
we should have been together.. but, of coz in reality we're not mean to each other.. but still, am grateful to meet up wif u.. have a chance to know you.. n i luv everything about you.. but of coz, the God already plan everything for us..
God plan my jodoh wif my Hunky..
n you..
maybe you'll find someone far better than me..
someone that u can make her yours forever..
n that someone is not me..

after think about it last nite..
i feel far better now..
i luv my hunky.. he's everything for me..
my sleeping partner..
my kissing partner..
my toothbrush partner..
my soulmate..

every each day pass.. tho how hard life could be..
am still grateful coz he's mine.. forever mine..
no one couldn't have him..
n no one couldn't have me either, i am his forever..

the life we share together..
the son we have raise togather..
nothing can compare with it..
even all the money in the world can't buy it..

thanx God..
Thanx for Hunky..
thanx for everything..

what an unfaithful feeling..
huumm..
i dun wanna feel that guilty..
she sez,
nothing is wrong to feel good about myself..
but i have to be cautious, n put a boundary between us..
so we dun cross the line
thanx to her.. what a feel good word to hear..

well,
when i think back, the problem is lie within the surface. the real problem which is start to crack slowly from inside. i shud prevent it from getting cracks more n more. i need to patch every single hole inside. but i'm tired. i'm tired to become the only person who try to fix every damage. i jez couldn't figure out how i can tag him along, so we can work things out together.

sumtimes..
i really feel broken. but still, pretending am really a strong bitch to face everything alone. but when it come to this matter. when eventually u came wif a pair, but suddenly u'r the only one who trying to make things work. it is just not fair.

God..
help me..
Pleaase..
Guide me.. God..