new beginning..perhaps?

well, to start a new life is ain't easy.
at the very beginning, it sounds great and exciting.
but, to stay on the line and get focus, arghh~ susahnyer!
banyak sangat distraction, and you keep attempt to break the rules you have made for yoourself.
but am greatful anyway, coz the Lord has made my eyes wide open.
InsyaAllah, things won't be the same anymore.
and i pray hard and try to work hard for it.

Thank God.. for the blessing and faith..

fusssing..

so much things mingle in my brain now.
about baby, study, economy, works, wishes, friends and food.

i've been worried bout 7 weeks ol baby inside this yummy tummy.
last nite i called Dr. Chuck, my hubby's best fren n a good fren of mine about my worries laa.
why am i being worried so much?
hummm.. well, i jez found out am pregnant about 2 weeks ago.
so that's mean, it's already 5 weeks old at that time.
and within that unknown 5 weeks, i've been smoking casually, not casually laa..
coz i can finish 6-7 cigars a day.
haizzz~
and smoking during pregnany is really a big no-no.
aku sangat takut ok.
takut gile.
what if sumthing bad happen to this baby becoz of this farking stupid habit?
hummm.. risau nyer aku~
well, am totally cut off this habit yg sgt sial.
erghhhh~ ..
hopefully nothing bad happen.
and this baby will be born normally n beautifully.. InsyaAllah..
talking bout baby..
i miss 2 of my baby nephews alot..
huwaaaaa~
teringat gile kat dierang..



this lil 3 months old Elyas, jez return from Dublin.
Last Wednesday, dapat baby sit die jap, oh sangat adorable.
membuatkan aku jatuh hati dan merindui mu..
uwaaaa~
after sampai mesia sari, the next day terus gi Bandung.
lucky guy, 3 months ol dah dapat buat world tour.
i wonder what this lucky guy will become when he grows up?
hummm...?



other lil dude yg hunky tgh dukung itu, name die en.arif.
a shy guy, barely speak, expressionless, sangat manje and vewy2 adorable.
love to play chicken chicks wif me. that's the only time i saw him laughing.
thats why am missing him lots.
kerana telah berjaya membuatkan budak kecik ini ketawa terkekeh-kekeh ^o^

burp..~
hehe, kenyang. good food really makes my day. yeay!

about study.
aku sambung blajar.
last week pegi register.
hopefully, within this month aku leh siapkan thesis tuh.
then, this year leh grad. aaaaminnn~
thanx to all my babes yg banyak kasik nasihat2 yg sgt memberangsangkan itu.
i luv u! mmmwahxxxxx~~~~

then, memandangkan aku tgh siapkan thesis tuh,
aku terpakse lor berkemut sket psal bab duit ni.
ekonomi sewiously merundum nih.
baru jek tadi borak ngan brother newspaper kat bawah.
die citer, member die keje kat western digital.
pastuh mase dapat gaji bulan 12, terus company kasik gaji bulan 1 skali.
tau nape die kasik gaji bulan 1 skali?
sebab die suh pekerja2 dierang sume amik cuti sampailaa company tuh beroperasi balik.
bile company tuh nak beroperasi balik pun, tak tau bile.
sampai macam tuh skali erk ekonomi jatuh.
western digital tuh kire company yg agak strong gak ar.
tapi kene tutup kedai.
haizzz~
sib baik aku nyer company, macam takde effect langsung ngan ekonomi skarang.
relax jek generate duit.
rezeki dierang kot.
n probably, rezeki aku gak erk.

talking bout work n economy.
i've been thinking, what kind of job that am looking for actually?
of coz there're lotsa kind of job that i want to.
i wanna be a photographer, a beautician, an hairstylist, graphic designer, interior designer or fashion designer perhaps..? hehe..
sume nyer required such a creative mind.
humm, if i can be one of those at least, mesti aku passionate gile kan.
yelaa, u've been paid for sumthing u always love.
best ar.
sebab tuh, ppl who luv their jobs, mesti die sangat bersungguh-sungguh wat keje kan.
alaa, macam ko suke masak, pastuh org bayar plak utk ko masak.
mesti laa lagi ko suke masak2.
humm.. whatever laaa..
my dream, to have a photography studio n printing n design company.
InshaAllah..

well, aku dah tak larat dah nak menaip ni.
lapar laa plak.
there's 2 things dlm kepale otak aku skarang yg aku nak makan.

1. Hor Fa Mee From Ol Town
2. Prosperity Burger

humm, tunggu jelaa hunky blanje nanti.
malas nak kuar duit sdiri, hehe.

chao!

bLuEs Fr|daY..

it such a bad morning.
dengan weather yg mendung jek pagi ni.
hah, memang elok laa tuh ngan mood of the day.
dah laa bangun keje lambat, last nite tido plak lambat.
bangun ngan muke muncung jek.
tak sempat nak breakfast kat umah.
ingat after punch kad, nak kuar breakfast jap.
elok plak,duit tak bawak.
lagilaa bad mood abis.
dah tak tau camner nak ilangkan blues nih.
stress betul!

Lapar!!!! uwaaaaaaa~

k,laaa..
sambung later, after perut dah kenyang. huhu..

rAnD0m|zEd..

.: HER :.

the most influence person in my life.
i know i disappoint her a lot after from one to another mistakes i did in my life.
i know am such a failure for her.
it breaks me down anyway, to know she feels that way towards me.
i used to be so manje with her when i was a kid.
the one that her wish always be granted.
but when i started to live my life in boarding school.
we falled apart.
and there came the crisis storm in our house.
i became bitter n cold person.
never really cared about what happened around me.
things getting more complicated every each day.
i was always wish that i could go away n live on my own.
well, basically my wish kinda came true.
coz since 13 years ol, i never had a chance to stay home more than a month.
till my final year in 'U', i've got married and never got a chance to live under one roof with her again.
i wish i could fix things up with her.
but i can't. It's really hard for me to open up and feel warmth towards her.
sumthings i never did for 20 years.
lame tuh..
haiiiz~...
"Syurga Di Bawah Tapak Kaki Ibu"
i try to be grateful, coz i still have a chance to make it up things with her.
but how am gonna do it?
ummm... tak tau laaa~

:(


.: Love n Hate :.

ever heard a song "Cinta Dalam Hati" from Ungu.
i had a younger guy fall for me before.
he dedicate this song to me.
is it true..
in love with someone alone can make you happy.
of coz laa, kite happy bile in love.
tapi in love saje without having the person u love, cukup ke utk kite bahagie?
but, its absolutely not for me.
when am in love, i'll do anything to make him mine.
if i cant, jez forget about it.
tapi masalahnye, ade gak org camtuh erk.
hummm..
lantak laa dierang.
aku pi susah2 pening sakit kpale watpe.
takde keje tul.

k laa back to work.
tadi tgh emo sket.
takde mood ar plak nak sambung citer.
hummm.. ^___^"

sakit perut ar..

adeh... subuh2 lagi dah kuar masuk toilet.
tension ar camni. tatau salah makan pe.
yg pasti, b4 tido smlm, minum susu segelas.
no wonder laa perut aku memberontak ari ni. huuuuu~

lame dah tak update blog ni.
sbenarnye, ade gak beberape cubaan untuk mengupdate.
tetapi gagal.
cam taktau pe nak type.

mmm..

wel, ari ni dah 6 days after new year eve.
first time celebrating new year ari tuh.
hehe. dah laa mlm tuh kuar bujang.
lepak kat starbux klcc lagi.
memang sedap jek cuci mate mlm tuh.
tapi, being a bini orang n mak orang, i jez kept it low jek.
takde ar nak gile glamer n gedix.
walaupun agak sangap, 4 jam melangut kat situh manunggu detik 12mlm.
overall, it was so fun to be around my babes. yeay!!

my weekn kinda bowink.
nothing much. nothing fun.
so did yesterday.
lagilaa bad mood gile.
ari ni pun camtuh gak.
akupun tatau bile mood aku nak elok.
asik bad mood jek memanjang.
kalo cakap2 ngan hunky pun, mesti nak marah2 jek.
poor hunky. huhuuu~ windu kat die ar.
dahlaa smlm balik lambat. tak sempat nak manje2.
hunky..
i miss u lor..