Penis Requests a Raise

i found this 1 frm judd's fren.. fucking funny..

Penis Requests a Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical hard labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get off days or public holidays
I am on 24hrs standby / 365days
I work in a damp environment with occasional foul smell
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I need to work in various environment conditions and temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases which carries a very high risk of death

Reply
Dear Penis,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay faithful in your allocated workplace, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave before you have completed the day's work.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags

Sincerely,
The Management

last nite hang out wif sugah's fellas.. seman,yang,john, sam n his bro.. having shisha.. get a lil bit dizzy.. huhuuu...
kantoi ngan sam.. 1st time hang out ngan die baik jek.. pakai tudung..
but last nite, wearing the shortest pant i have, smoke cigar n shisha.. wutta spoil.. huhu,bitch.. who cares..rite?!
luv sugah!! missing him lots..
can't wait to watch SHREK 2..
but my sugah keeping bz..
n tonite Black Eyed Peas will shaking up at Bukit Kiara.. i wish i could be there 2nite.. actually Wan will be bonzering at the concert..hope he will guarding at entrance.. hope soo... nanti bleh masuk free.. yeyeah..

[my name is]: violet
[in the morning i wuz]: sleepy
[all i need now is]: shaking my bon bon wif a hot guy
[love is]: urm.. unpredictable
[i'm afraid of]: God (Allah)
[i dream about]: me

** series one - you
-- First Name : zz
-- Birth time: 11:30am Feb 11 1982
-- Birthplace: HBKB
-- Last place travelled: sumwer in Pangkor Island
-- Eye Color: light brown
-- Nail Color: plain
-- Height: 5' 0"
-- Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

** series two - describe:
-- Your heritage: chinese dad and malay mom
-- The shoes you wore today: vincci
-- Your hair: long n wavy
-- Your weakness: hot stuff
-- Your perfect pizza: none..

** series three - what is:
-- Your most overused phrase: sial
-- Your thoughts first waking up: arghh...malasnyer nak gi kejer!!!
-- Your current worry: gpa & money
-- Your plans tomorrow: having a lunch at klcc..
-- Your best physical feature: boobs n butt
-- Your bedtime: oo:ooam

** series four - you prefer:
-- sunrise or sunset: sunset
-- gore or horror: horror
-- eastside or westside: eastside
-- stripes or polka dots: stripes
-- Planes or trains: planes
-- metal or hardcore: zapin
-- Boxers or briefs: boxers
-- Pools or hot tubs: pools

** series five - do you
-- Do you think you've been in love: yeah
-- Want to get married: yeah
-- Type w/ your fingers: of coz...stoopid
-- Like to take baths: hell yeah!
-- Get motion sickness: yeah
-- Like talking on the phone: lurve so much
-- Like thunderstorms: nope
-- Play an instrument: nope.
-- Workout: sumtimes
-- Like reading: yeah,sumtimes

** series six - favorite:
-- Body part:boobs
-- Kind of fruit: kiwi
-- Music to fall asleep to: inflatable by bush
-- Car: Honda E.K
-- Number: 7
-- Thing to do: dance,sing
-- Horror movie: gothika
-- Colors: blue + white
--Food: nasi ayam

**series eight - the future:
-- Age you hope to be married: minimum 23, max 28
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 5 is the maximum
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: urm.. ain't dreaming yet...
-- How do you want to die: peacefully besides my luv one..
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: being a gud wife..
-- What country would you most like to visit: japan

** series nine - opposite sex:
-- Best eye color: light brown
-- Best hair color: black
-- Best personality trait: hot,funny n kindhearted
-- Best height: tall,dark n lean..
-- Best weight: as long as he looks like he can protect me, that'll be ok
-- Best first date location: tatau laa..
-- Best first kiss location: in a spa.. huhu..

** series ten - finish:
-- I eat: dairy food..
-- I think: i need to go workout
-- I am: can be so nice n innocent but sumtimes can be a real bitch
-- I adore: puss in boot (shrek 2)
-- I suck at: keeping my own words
-- I am obsessed with: musics
-- I can: learn things quickly
-- I can't wait: to be wif sugah again..
-- I am annoyed with: sweet talkers n bitches
-- I miss: sugah!

Directions: Put X's next to the things you've NEVER done:
( ) been drunk
( ) smoked pot
( ) kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) kissed a member of the same sex
(x) crashed a friend's car
(x) been to Japan
( ) ridden in a taxi
( ) been in love
(x) had sex in public
( ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
(x) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
(x) had a threesome
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
( ) been tied up (sexually)
(x) been tattooed
(x) been caught masturbating
(x) had sex with a member of the same sex
(x) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) stole something from your job
(x) celebrated new years in Times Square
( ) gone on a blind date
( ) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
(x) been to Europe
( ) skipped school
(x) slept with a co-worker
(x) had sex at the office
(x) been married
(x) gotten divorced
(x) had children
(x) tried killing yourself
( ) cheated on a past girl/boyfriend
(x) had sex with your girl/boyfriend on the parents bed
( ) had sex within a month
( ) feel the love

get dizzy!

i'm getting dizzy of that cigar.. ohooo... penin...penin.. pa, help me..
hari ni buat pe ar? bagun pagi siut.. gi breakfast,then sambung tido, then.. gi OU.. play cards at Sn.Francisco Cff.. then fetch suga's sista at KLIA.. then ere i am.. still penin2 lalat.. tatau nak ilang kan pening ni camner.. huhuuuu...
i wanna write sumthin interesting like all those cool fellas out there.. tp cam everytime i'm online.. mesti sangap tade idea..
huhuuu..
i'm goin crazy.. mad.. @@$*&^(+_*)!@#$%^&*()_+|
paaa.... help me...

tak tahan lagi.. waaarghhhahahaha...

tak tau dah nak tulih pe kt blog...
bt the truth is.. im happy wif my life now.. weeehehehe...
biaselaa, tgh hot spicy lagi.. memang ar best..
td tgk omar main bola, best jugak layan tgk org main bola skali skale.. lg2 kalo kite kenal org tuh.. urm..
td buat kejer kt station.. kul 2 dah blah.. gi midvalley jap.. beli short..
pastuh, terus gi sunway.. lepak minum.. then.. here i am..
dah tatau nak gi mane dah.. duit aku 50bux burn camtuh jek.. celake..
serius membazir tahap tak ingat.. dah abis hundred bux sial!!! argh, tension!!

the day in depot

arghh... at depot rite now.. at Ami's table.. luckily there's internet ere.. kalo tak mati aku sangap..
i have to meet my lecturer, dunno wich lecturer will coming over..
smlm aku tungkus lumus siapkan aku nyer log book.. end up tido kul 3:30 pg.. tak penah gi aku tido kul 3:30pg sebab siapkan report...
nyesal siut aku tak buat awal2...
tp yg pastinyer aku leh balik umah awal.. tp sugar balik kg, kene rush antar keter balik.. huum..
i'm broke rite now..
n yesterday, i broke to my big brotha's room, searching 4 sum money..
well, i didb't mean to stealing... i jez need sum money 4 my lunch..
but... suddenly, wut i found is a porn cd... hehehe..
actually normal laa kan org tgk porn.. but it's pretty funny coz the ppl who watch that is my big brotha n my sista in law.. y? bcoz they'r nerdy n shy ppl.. huumm... air yg tenang jgn disangke tiade buaye... rite....?

wif my sugah.. jez watchin my no 1 soccer player kicking he ass beating Sepang Institute of Tech.. he's fucking gud in playing football.. n also good in.. dot..dot..dot.. heheh..
wut? dun think dirty erk..
this weekn, doing nothing.. 48hours berkepit wif my sugah.. huh, never get enuff of him.. yesterday pegi library,jadik budak nerd jap.. carik references nak buat drawing.. alaa, bukannye susah pun buat autocad.. mm,blagak siut..
missing my frens alot.. dah lame tak lepak ngan diarang..
got azam baru.. nanti 1 month kat umah nak work out.. nak jog, buat stomach exercise bebanyak.. perut dah buncit sial.. kasik flat sket, lawa siut.. jeles aku tgk perut n bontot kylie minouge.. pergh.. yommy giler!! bak kate balak aku.. arap2 azam baru nih menjadi ar kot..
hope soo..

having a great day.. playing pool wif sugar.. huhu.. best.. best..
kene practice bebanyak lg.. miss sugah lots!!

mY LiFe aLpHaBeT..

A - aquarius; my zodiac

B - BITCH: Babe In Total Control Of Herself

C - cat; i lurvee catz..

D - dancing; lurve to shake bon-bon so much.. heeyaaah..

E - enjoying my life now.. weeehehehe..

F - flirt; used to flirt so much..

G - G-spot; dunno where the exact spot yet..

H - horny; sumtimes ppl get horny,rite..?

I - inflatable; fav song by bush..

J - jamban; i like clean jamban coz i'm gonna use it 10 to 20 times a day..

K - kelantan; my hometown

L - love; deeply in luv wif my sugah!

M - mat yie; my 7 years old younger brotha..

N - nOtHiNg LaSt fOrEvEr..

O - OMAR; my sugah!!

P - procrastinate; i'm professional procrastinator

Q - Q-ball; kinda jelly that i can find in my fav drinks at delimau nipis restaurant at bangi..

R - radio; hItZ.fM

S - sex.. urmmm,interesting..

T - Tudung, On and OFF..

U - ummi; the one n only beloved mum...

V - va-va voom chick!!

W - white; one of fav colour..

X - Xtreme choc, San Francisco Coffee; my fav smoothies..

Y - young n beautiful.. yeah..

Z - zetty; my name... ;)

Aquarius

The sign Aquarius is symbolized by the Water Carrier.
Your sign's element is Air. Aquarius is ruled by the planet Uranus.

You like time saving devices and enjoy reading. Aquarius is modern, progressive, diplomatic, and humanitarian. Independence and a feeling of freedom is necessary. Aquarius has a strong will, and is original, inventive, and will always enjoy doing the unexpected. Aquarius is also creative, scientific, quick, unconventional, friendly and enjoys groups of people or belonging to clubs. Aquarius is intellectual, faithful, and intuitive, with an ability to "see through people". You may lead a bohemian or hippie lifestyle.

Possible negative aspects of the sign Aquarius:
You can be self centered. Aquarius can be nervous and high strung, erratic, opinionated, impractical, and often a public charge.

*sighing again*...
actually i dun have to sigh.. but i jez wanna sigh.. weeeweweeewee...
i'm happy wif my life now..
got someone to luv by myside..
sum great + wonderful + lovely frens here wif me..
life is jez wonderful rite..?
i wanna live my life to the most zesty life could be..
(erk.. btul ke ayat aku nih? ;P kuhek!kuhek!..)

well.. still 3 weeks left i'm doin my job ere at Dang Wangi...
i'm so lazy to work maa... n this morning kene sound kat my supervisor coz i ain't finish yet the task that have given to me long time ago.. hikhik... urm.. tape laa, take it slow..

n 4 the 1st time in my life, i've joined a canoe tournament.. i represent my company wif my cute pal, Ami.. heheh.. best laa jugak..

feeling like cursing..
WUT THE FUCK IS GOING ON MUTHERFUCKER?! U, ASSHOLE!!!!
*sigh*...

well, madly in luv wif my sugar.. he's fucking hot...
but i'm fucking worried of his ex.. coz his beautiful ex is my gorgeous bestfren..
goddammit!!!
feeling guilty like hell...
arghhh....

wif sugar...
my big brotha wed went pretty well...
i'm glad.. coz he's already settle down wif his love one..
hope my turn will be coming soon wif my beloved sugah.. heheh...