M'sia - Saturday March 13 (11:22am)
I'm freaking pissed. Arg.. So frustrating. Sometimes in life, you just wanna give up whatever you're doing and just sit down, and think bout what you wanna do in the future, or think if what you're doing now really serves a purpose in life. I mean, ok, there're times where you are having the time of your life, and you think "hm, so life doesn't suck as I thought it would." Then when you're at the bottom of your "life-curve", you start saying how much life sucks and bla bla bla. Yea, so they say... Your life has this curve, this U shaped curve. Sometimes you can be at the top, and at other times, you're at the bottom. And they always say... Things might be bad now, but it'll get better. Just give it time. Yea, it's easy to say, but hello? I ain't gonna live forever.. I can't just waste my time giving IT time..
Don't you sometimes feel that whatever you've planned is just too good to be true? And don't you find that everytime you plan something this way, a small part of it, or prolly the WHOLE plan just goes wrong?
Yea, just move on in life, dump whatever's in your past, forget your past, just step forward into your remaining life as a new, clean, revamped person. Start from the scratch. Geez, if it's that easy, there wouldn't be all these shit around now.
So I've been thinking. Should I really give up whatever I have, then just continue life here as a person alone? Take it slow and easy, don't let the past haunt me, forget all that I've got back home (besides my family), and just be a new person in a new country.
That's a good idea huh? Think I'll just do that. S.L.O.W.L.Y..
I'm seriously sick of waiting. Actually, I've been waiting all my life, the time's still not here. Fuck it. Where has it gone? I don't wanna keep waiting and waiting and wasting my life away. I don't wanna wait any longer. The longer you wait, the longer your patience wears thin. It's very thin already. Don't wanna keep lying to myself. Don't wanna keep having these hallucinations and imaginations. Don't wanna have something I can't touch. Don't wanna keep hoping and praying and wishing. It doesn't come true.