yakuza

i jez finish another Japanese's drama series, GOKUSEN..



it's a story about a yakuza heiress, Yamaguchi Kumiko who wanna become an high school sensei instead of being a yakuza leader. She's ended up teaching those lil brats from Shirokin Gokuin high school, but becoz of her determination and passion towards those kids, she became one of the greatest n coolest sensei around. these drama really humorous but also got lotsa values about life.
and that yamuguchi sensei is hillarious n dem cool..
membuatkan aku rase cam, nak jadi sensei jugak.. huhu~

Since watching that Gokusen drama, am kinda interested in Yakuza.. and i came across with this book..


Yakuza Moon

It's a biography book about the author, Shoko Tendo who told her story bout her life being a yakuza daughter. the story about being a yakuza heiress is portrayed differently from Gokusen drama. It's full with darkness and dirty jobs. and being a daughter of the big boss, is not like being a princess in a palace, it is full with range, hearted and betrayal. the book had been release at Japan on 2004, but it is jez translated to english last year. and i dun know how much is it in MYR, but in USD it's cost 23USD. kalo convert duit mesia, dah almost 100 lebih, tak masuk tax lagi.
ummm...~ maybe kene gi usha price dulu kat Kino.. or anyone yang dah beli buku ni?

get fit

i start my morning today with a very distressful thought. and i can't get rid the unpleasant feeling that have been last for a few days now. but now, am feeling better, n ready start a brand new day all over again. yeayy!

this mroning, when i was hopping on lrt from Hang Tuah, i saw a blind lady, smartly dress with baju kurung n blazer, traveling alone. when we reached ChanSowLin station, she stepped out suddenly and carefully, i saw she tried to reach a tiang and stay there till the train started to move on. and she slowly disappeared from my view..
later on, my mind started to wondering around that blind lady..
where's on earth she's coming from?
where is she heading to?
how in the world she knew that's the right station she should stop *coz abang driver lrt tuh takde pun buat announcement which station we are now*?
what kind of job she have?
and what will happened if i am in her shoes..?
do i will survived and independent like that lady?
or i jez live dengan mengharapkan bantuan orang lain?
do i..?
but honestly, i can't figured out if i will or will not.
tetapi sebenarnye, i am so ashamed of myself coz i have everything in my life, i still have both of my parents, both of grandparents, a wonderful husband, a gorgeous adorable son and be able to get evrything i want to, but still, i keep whining and mengeluh life is soo sux, and this sux, that's sux, everything is sux..
well..i shud appreciate life more, n be grateful for everything i have.

hummm....

much..much better now..

i think am gonna switch to a better job..
my intention to further study, have to be postponed coz there's no any college's offering graphic design part time course. takde rezeki lagi kot, maybe when the right time comes later, i'll grab that opportunity. InsyaAllah.

well..well..

after 5, i'll b heading to UIA for swimming. n tomorrow, return from work i'll start my jogging routine all over again at Pandan Indah. i want to get fit and healthy as i am before. Start with swimming, jogging and drink lotsa water.
Gambate!!!

weekn.

my weekn very tiring. last sunday, ala2 gotong royong wif hunky, walaupun pada hakikatnyer, aku sorang jek yang buat kejer2 membersih rumah.. sampai ke malam baru sudah buat kejer2 pembersihan. huh, gile semak umah aku ni.

boring ar..

i think i need more privacy..

i'll switch to a new blog add..

sowey ppl..

u sux! am ain't helping u no more! @#@@$#%^&^*&(_!!!!

well,
jez watching step up 2 online..
for the dancing lover.. u absolutely luv that movie..
dem, they're fucking good.. n i miss my time hitting the dance floor all over again.. umm, jez hit n slip on my own house floor je laa kan.. watever..

yesterday, spend sum time swimming @ UIA.. the pool so dem big, n deep, i can't even touch my feet on the pool floor, coz the pool height is higher than myself. sib baik laa aku cam terer gak swimming, so no worries about it. dah laa pegi swimming tuh, cam aku sorang jek yg sexy, pakai swimming suit, sib baik bawak tights, kalo tak mesti dah kene halau. n this morning, also got plan to go for swimming, but dat stupid dude, ask me to help him out. guess what, ain't show up! wtf!

argh.. after finish the muvi, am heading home n doing my thing.
home sweet home..

happy tuesday

semalam, i was in a very good mood.. taktaulaa mane datang mood tuh. dah laa dok umah mlm tadi banyak citer best dalam satu mase. mane nak tgk Sindarela, ugly betty lagi, heroes 2 kat starworld, pastuh ade lak victoria secret party.. sume nak tgk.. alih2 my hunky yg dapat remote, huh layan laa engko tgk bola.. hampeh.

watching sindarela @tv3 memang buat aku gelak siut.. citer tuh memang nonsense gile.. but, sharifah armani dem good actress.. being a pengkid on that drama, she's really act like a pengkid yg comey.. i'm a huge fan of her since her 1st appearance in sepet. she's also good looking.. like me lor.. hahaha..

updating..

as usual.. am sooo malas up date my blog. today, got no choice. am bored like hell, mRR2 fucking jam, from melawati till ntah memane. n i dun wanna waste my time tekan minyak n main gear 2, gear 1. lenguh laa kaki aku yang cantik ini.

but..
ain't got any idea what am gonna crapping about.

huummm..
well..well..
lets talk bout weekn, walaupun weekn sudah berlalu selame 2 hari.. wtf laa kan..

last weekn i have a road trip to melaka n PD. Kudos to Mc shah kerana menumpangkan aku overnite kat rumah die. *shah, rumah mu adalah sgt best. aku rase cam tanak balik jer..*
n thanx kerana menumpangkan aku ride wif jiji n tag along wif kak nana.. tho on the way back aku yg drive. tapi memandangkan jiji adalah auto.. takde ar memenatkan sgt drive jiji.
at melaka, pijot's wedding.. my ol good fella kat KMPP.. after awhile ain't meet her. alih2 dah kawen dengan jejaka bertuah bernama En. Hussein.. n pijot, she's really drop dead gorjes that day. n me also look gorjes as usual. hahaha.. sounds keji.

n this weekn.. already planned to spend time at the pools.
means.. after spending some times at swimming pool, we'll heading to pool's table. umm.. sounds great lor.

can't wait for another weekn. yeah..

but tomolo baru wednesday lor..
haiya, still got 3 days to go meh..

one step forward.

babe..

last night. i have made up my mind. i wanna further study.
why?

i've decided to chase my dream. i wanna take one step forward by taking course in Graphic design.
Seriously, i'll work hard to get any scholar, or at least some education loans.

Babe..

wish me luck!

munajat

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i jez receive this images trough email this morning..
you know what..
i'm burst to tears when i saw the pics..
suddenly my heart touched by the images of thousands of ppl performed prayers n munajat @ stadium Sultan Ismail, KB.
it ain't that am being rudiculous or what..
i jez wish am part of those ppl who willing perform prayer kat tgh2 padang,tho at that time hujan yg tgh lebat suddenly berhenti tibe2, n make a way to those ppl sembahyang and bermunajat.
at look at the Tok Guru..
how many leader now who willing to cry on prayer
because of his deepest love to their country..

and the images also make me realize, when the last time u cry on ur prayer..
when the last time u cry mase tgh sembahyang?
when...?

and for me..
it's been a awhile, i haven't do that..
maybe years..

ya Allah..
betape jahil nyer aku..

ntahlaa..

really, tgk gambar2 ni sgt menginsafkan aku..
betape aku lupe diri..

Ya Tuhan..
berikanlah aku petunjuk..

and..

is this the kind of leader u prefer?

have a lil faith..

jez have a lil faith..

well..

i feel so grateful today.. grateful for every single thing i have..

Especially.. him..
he makes me laugh.. he makes me feel so good bout myself..
if only we're in different world, different place, and different timeline..
we should have been together.. but, of coz in reality we're not mean to each other.. but still, am grateful to meet up wif u.. have a chance to know you.. n i luv everything about you.. but of coz, the God already plan everything for us..
God plan my jodoh wif my Hunky..
n you..
maybe you'll find someone far better than me..
someone that u can make her yours forever..
n that someone is not me..

after think about it last nite..
i feel far better now..
i luv my hunky.. he's everything for me..
my sleeping partner..
my kissing partner..
my toothbrush partner..
my soulmate..

every each day pass.. tho how hard life could be..
am still grateful coz he's mine.. forever mine..
no one couldn't have him..
n no one couldn't have me either, i am his forever..

the life we share together..
the son we have raise togather..
nothing can compare with it..
even all the money in the world can't buy it..

thanx God..
Thanx for Hunky..
thanx for everything..

what an unfaithful feeling..
huumm..
i dun wanna feel that guilty..
she sez,
nothing is wrong to feel good about myself..
but i have to be cautious, n put a boundary between us..
so we dun cross the line
thanx to her.. what a feel good word to hear..

well,
when i think back, the problem is lie within the surface. the real problem which is start to crack slowly from inside. i shud prevent it from getting cracks more n more. i need to patch every single hole inside. but i'm tired. i'm tired to become the only person who try to fix every damage. i jez couldn't figure out how i can tag him along, so we can work things out together.

sumtimes..
i really feel broken. but still, pretending am really a strong bitch to face everything alone. but when it come to this matter. when eventually u came wif a pair, but suddenly u'r the only one who trying to make things work. it is just not fair.

God..
help me..
Pleaase..
Guide me.. God..