fucking mad

am fucking mad!
seriously..!

am sick of u!
am tired of being good n loyal.
tired to be the one who jez try to forgive n forget.
tired to be the one who try to make things right.
tired to be the one who pretend everything will be ok

i make u breakfast
i wake u up in the morning
i make luv wif u
i give u a son
i give u my trust
i give u my loyalty
n what i hate most
i luv u Goddem much

but i sick of it
dem tired of everything

i know i shouldn't tell everybody bout what inside, between u n me..
but how i can pretend nothing happen
coz my heart is in fucking hurt now

at first i start to cry over n over
as like i do whenever u hurt me
but from now on
i won't..
i won't cry anymore
i won't cry over such a lame person
u can be that pathetic for ur whole life
but i won't be the same person as u r

for the sake of our child
i'll stuck wif u as long as i cud
coz deep inside, there's still left the luv we have shared b4
after what we have been tru
i dun wanna give up everything jez like that
i still wanna try to work things out
speshly work on my life

u can do what u wanna do
coz am already tired to be hurt
coz broken heart suck up ur desire
desire to move on

i want to move on
move on wif my life
there're lotsa of opportunity lying ahead me
if u wanna share wif me
go on.. wif open arms..
if u dun give a dem.. i dun give a fuck honestly

am a strong woman
i've been tru lotsa obstacles
but am still survive
so, whatever happen to me in my future
i'll survive.. coz am know.. am a survivor

God bless me..

Amiin..

insecurity

the insecurity really kills me inside out..
am really torn apart jez now..
but thanx to wan rose..
i feel alot better..
u'r rite..
thinking bout the past, makes u doom in..
learn from the mistakes..
n work it out gal..

sing it to me galz..

"go zetty..go zetty..go zetty..go zetty"

yeah..

i luv u babes!!!

muahXXX....~
muahhxxx..~

bored again..

bored like hell..
tgh tunggu papa nak balik nie..

well,
am always get jealous at other people..
people who have all the smiling pics..
people who have a hepi wonderful life..
people who success..
people who gorgeous..
ergh!!

jelesnyer aku memandang manusie2 itu..
sum people tell me that i've got what other people dun have..
but am also ain't got what other people have..

hopefully, switching my job, am also can switching on the new self of me <---(apakah betul bahasa inggeris yang ku guna pakai ini)
meet mnew people..
making more friends..
maybe become more successful..

hope so..

InsyaAllah..

lately, aku perasan..
aku nyer entry sumer cam berbaur INSECURITY..
maybe ar kot tgh feeling insecure..
bout what?
tak taula..

whatever it is..
am enjoying this song so much lately..

Meredith BrooksBitch

Music Videos And Lyrics On Demand

.: b.|.t.C.h :.


I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one
Chorus:
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

Chorus

Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me

Chorus

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

lil bored..

listen to marie digby singing really makes my mind floating around.. dreaming..

this week office kinda boring..
coz i keep doing the same thing all over again, there's sum problems wif my design file n am still trying to sort out till this day..
except, yeterday, am really have fun at the office..
ayip was here, we watch all the funny stupid youtubes.. watch Pirates of the caribbean at the world's end for the 3rd time.. n trying to sort that farking stupid illustrator.. erghh..
ok, ayip is like a lil brother to me, he's my boss' son ok..
n we r kinda have the same interests alot..
from musics, muvis to gadgets..
even when i introduce him to marie digby, he's then totally crazy over her..
but, becoz he's the boss junior.. he's rarely showing up at the office..

klaa..
coz my mind is already dry out..
i think wanna sooth it wif more of marie digby.. yeeeha..

marie digby

i jez found this phenomenon youtube babe..
marie digby..

gosh!

she's such a babe..
n her voice.. arghh.. very mencairkan jiwe dan raga..
she's doing lotsa cover song including james morrison: you give me sumthing,
britney: give me, linkin park: what i've done.. n yadaaaa..yadaa..yadaaa..

she's gorgeous.. gorgeous.. n gorgeous..
really in luv wif her voice n her look..

huuumm~

still looking for myself

well..
got lotsa ideas to crap about..
tapi tak tau nak pick yg mane satu..

wat the hell...

umm..

everymorning, on my way to work..
am always stumble wif chinese grandpa or grandma yang tgh pimpin tangan cucu or tolak stroller baby jejalan pepagi.. so sweet..
n it makes wonder, ade ke the melayu ppl like us, nenek2 or atuk2 yg kuar pepagi bawa cucu jejalan..
tak penah plak aku terserempak..

slalu chinese ar..
aku sdiri tak penah kuar pepagi bawa anak jejalan..
breath the morning breeze..
best nyer..
unless bangun kul 7 nak gi jogging..
tu pun, setahun brape kali je buat cam tuh..
hahahah..

still wondering..
why this chinese always conscious bout their health..
kalo pegi jogging dekat park, pepetang or early morning..
those yg tgh exercises will be 80% Chinese..

like me.. i luv to exercise.. speshly jog..
but am not too conscious bout what am eating..
am really luv junk food.. but, oklaa, i jez eat 'em rarely..
but sweets.. gosh! i luv sweets n choc so much..
takut gak, later on bile dah tue dapat diabetes..
but i can't help myself eating all those junks..
huhu~

i really wanna eat healthily..but i can't..
coz i dun wanna stop myself to eat everything i wanna eat..
rugi tau..
i wanna do yoga..
i wanna jog every morning..
i wanna rock climbing..
i wanna go to gym..
i wanna.. i wanna.. i wanna...
buat jer malas..
useless..

one day..
i'll do all those things..
that's a promise for myself..
i'll do it..
sooner or later..

yeaaah babe, can u feel me..!
yeah..!
wtf!

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)

The Bottom Line

Old problems are not back again, no matter what you might think. You can relax.


Old problems can be tricky. On the one hand, you should learn how to forget the past and move on. But on the other hand, if you don't learn your lessons from what has happened already, you are doomed to repeat some unpleasant patterns. The decision about how to tackle past mistakes will be made for you today, when a new opportunity comes along. There will be a time crunch, so you won't have a lot of time to mull it over. Jump ahead and don't look back.

self-image..

do u have anything that u regret b4?
me?
alot..
but..
buat pe nak piki2 bende yg dah lepas..
when tomorrow come..
today will be gone ferever..
betul tak?

ntahlaa...
lately, i've been thinking alot bout my self.
my self-esteem.. my self-image.. anything that start wif 'self' laa..

do u like the way u r?

do i?

tak taulaa..

do i like the way i am now?

don't know..

honestly..
i've been changed alot for past few years..
maybe am become better person..
not so much, at least better..
i learn to appreciate people more.. speshly people around me..
i learn how to be patient..
i know how to be more greatful..
i learn how to be a good mother..
n alot more..

am trying to live life to the fullest..
but..
i dun know how to live life to the fullest..
i have my-self doubt..
doubt about things i wanna do..
seems like the confident in me, is starting to fade away..
i don't know why..

i wish i'm more confident..
i wish i will work harder..
i wish i can do everything i wanna do..
i wish i can change into a better, nicer person..
i wish i can be more grateful..
i wish all my dreams come true..
i wish i can really live life to the fullest..

well.. there're lotsa things to wish for..
buat wishes memang ar senang..
wish without act.. useless jugak laa kan..
so skarang.. am thinking..
how to act..
to act in good nice way..

i think everybody know..
the least thing we can do..
is pray..
keep praying to God..
coz praying honestly can open up your heart..
so u can see, what kind of path u wanna use to be what u wanna be..
am i right...?

vitamin B

since my supplement of vitamin B out of stock..
am getting sleepy sepanjang mase
hari2 datang kejer.. mengantuk je keje..
nak buat keje pun tak leh nak focus..
mengantuk ar..

ade this one article sez..
vitamin B6 is good for blood circulation..
it’s kinda an agent to circulate more O2 all over the bod..
no wonder, when u eat more vitamin B. it will boost ur energy..
so babe, if u wanna be energetic all day long..
please take vitamin B.. B complex will b better..

anyone got vitamin B?

new obsession

last nite, after awhile tak layan AXN..
so bile ter'on' AXN.. tertengoklaa SUPERNATURAL..
n when watch that two dudes..
arrrghhh! hatiku telah menjadi cair serta merta..
dan mereka berdue telah officially menjadi 'OBSESSION' diriku..
tho, SUPERNATURAL jalan citer die takde ar best sgt, tapi oklaa..
tapi bile menatap wajah due jejake kacak itu..
tidak kisahlaa kamu berlakon tidak sehebat mane sekali pun..
dengan menatap wajahmu yang kacak itu sudah cukup mencairkan hatiku..
bengong laa aku ni..

hehe..

alaaa aku bukan obses sangat pun..
saje jek nak menggatal..
tapi memang that 2 dudes amatlaa kacak..

walau ape pun..
di hatiku..
hanya satu yang paling kacak..
siape lagi kalau bukan OMAR FAROUK B. MOHAMAD.. =D
Oh suamiku yang kacak bergaye..
aku cinte pade mu..

anyway..
here a sweet lil dessert untuk tatapan mate para gadis dan ibu2 yang menghargai keindahan..
hohohoho~



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ngantuknyer...

am feeling vewy2 sleepy..

huaaaarghhh..!

ngantuknyer..
nak kate tido lambat, takde ar lambat..
ari2, before 12 dah ZZZZZZZZZZZ..
nak kate bangun pagi..
kul 7 baru bangun..
tapi still ngantuk..
nape ar..
tapi aku penah terbace this article..
basically, if our body contain more acids..
we'll be feeling sleepy..
weak.. n slalu kencing..
adakah badan ku juga mempunyai lebihan asid yg melampau?
mungkingkah.. ye kot..
maybe i shud get rid all of those toxics in my bod..
i wish i cud have time to excersice.. nanti body leh jadi fit..
baru best sket..
perut pun kempis..
bleh pakai baju cantik2..

ntah laa.. ape aku mengarut ni..
mengantuk ni..

aku dah start buat sit up, dah 1 week..
muscles perut aku dah sakit gile..
takpe..
demi nak cantik..
aku sanggup menahan sakit..
erghh..

dah tak larat dah nak mengarut..
ngantuk..
tak tahan ar..
adios..

well..
lotsa things in my mind..

the major mess is about changing my job..
*sigh..*
when i start to luv everything bout my job now..
suddenly i've got a better offer..
better mean, they pay better.. alot better..
the problem is, the job am gonna work on with
is totally different from what am doing now..
rase sayang sgt nak tinggalkan keje skarang..
tak tau laa..

last nite, already have a deep thought (sambil2 lipat baju yg bergunung..)
finally, i'v decided to switch my job..
becoz..
they'r really paying me better..
sebenarnye.. memanglaa better.. tapi takde laa banyak sgt pun..
coz gaji skarang pun sciput je, yg aku dapat offer tuh.. lebih sket..
becoz am really need to improve my financial level..
so i really have to accept that job..
tho i ain't like it (for now laa)..
mane tau later2 aku pun jatuh cinte ngan keje tuh nanti..
who knows..
rite..?

once upon a time

am go tru my ol album @ flickr..
i found lotsa ol pics.. years back..
mase zaman2 jahiliah ku..

n still..
i cant believe that am look this gorgeous before..



cun kan..
memang cun pun..
but now..
hehehe..
totally different..
more curvier.. dengan kate lain..
lebih gemuk.. lebihan lemak merate..
i luv myself b4..
skinny n looking fit..
skarang looking bloated..
but..
am still look gorgeous what..




n ade a few pics yg menjadikan diriku rindu pada saat-saat itu..

uwaaaa~!!!

n i miss ol fren aisha..
we r so closed.. have lotsa chemistry togather..
kalo die laki mesti dah jadi bf aku..
tapi till now, aku dah lost contact..
dunno wer i cud reach her..
if sumbody know wer she's being now
plss tell me..
plss..pls..

those r pics of us watching rock the world 4.. 2004





that guy, mr ley.. also ilang ntah ke mane hala..
also a good fren of mine.. harap2 die tgh berbahgie skarang.. hope so..

n also missing lotsa-lotsa my ol fellas..
back in ukm..back in matrix.. back in secondary.. also back in primary..
miss ya'll so much..
i feel like crying, coz am badly miss those guys..
really wanna meet em, n have a long chat..
i wish i cud see em..

ol fren..!
call me laa sumtime..!

lame tak update..

hoh, lamenye tak update..
hehehe..
malas ar..

ari ni, datang keje, grumpy gile..
tak penah aku dtg keje dengan perasaan gumbira, dan excited nak buat keje..
penah ke?
ade ke org excited nak gi keje?
ade kot..

sbenarnye..
feeling grumpy coz..
PEERIOOOOD!!!
argh...!
tension..
leceh ar period ni..
tapi nak buat camner..
huh!

well..well..
hows ur weekn babe?
my weekn...
bloated n burp..
urrrp...!
sebab open house berkoyan-koyan..
yesterday, best pegi open house..
tapi mlm tadi adalah sgt tak best, coz ujan lebat gile n both may darlings demam..
smlm langsung takleh nak tido..
mane tak nyer..
yg sorang tuh asik kuar masuk jamban.. till subuh..
yg sorang lagi asik merengek mitak susu..
ari ni bangun pagi aku lak rase cam nk demam..
huhuuuu~
ttapi.. sianlak kat dudes duerang tuh..
dah laa darling hubby gi gak keje ari ni, tho tgh demam..
ciannyer..

ummm..
can't wait for another weekn..
coz lepak2 dekat rumah is sumthing i treasure nowdays..
rumahku syurga ku...
sweeeeeeet...~